13 If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. 17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

Okay…so I haven’t posted in several months.  It’s not that big of a deal because I’m the only one reading anyway!

James continues to pour out some serious wisdom and speaks to something that I struggle with in a very nagging way.  I’m almost embarassed to admit it, but until reading this passage and posting on it tonight, I had failed to realize it was here (even though I have read James more than any other NT book) or that it spoke to something that I needed some help addressing in life.There are several times in life that I will be inspired by God, get an idea from Him or direction about something I need to do or decide and I move forward with His wisdom in that particular situation.  I try to do my best not to brag or boast about it, and I want to think I do that part pretty well.  What I struggle with is as I get knee deep in where God wants me to go or what God wants me to do, I begin to think about the human benefit side of it:  how good it will make me look, what I will gain from it, will people admire me for what I’m doing or saying?  The selfish ambition and thoughts go on and on.  It’s frustrating because at the inception of a good idea (from God) I am totally content with it being His and inspired by Him and not of myself.  It’s like the devil takes root in it and unravels something that started out as pure and good and pollutes it beyond recognition.  I then struggle with whether or not it is still pure to continue on or if I have allowed selfish ambition to take over.  More often than not whatever it is has become ruined

Looking back on certain situations in life I realize that if God placed something on my heart or in my mind to move forward with then it was from Him and it always would be.  I have come to realize that the devil only attacks us and distorts our motives when we are truly moving forward with the guidance of the Holy Spirit.  He wouldn’t waste his time on someone not pursuing God’s will for their lives.  But he feasts at the table of those who are truly trying to please God in what they do.  Get behind me Satan!  I am a peacemaker planting seeds of peace and anticipating a harvest of goodness.

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